Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Read Summary
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. Read Summary
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. Read Summary
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. Read Summary
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. Read Summary
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. Read Summary
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. Read Summary
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Read Summary
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. Read Summary
'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? Read Summary
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. Read Summary
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on? Read Summary
Think off-center. Read Summary
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. Read Summary
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. Read Summary
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him. Read Summary
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? Read Summary
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. Read Summary
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. Read Summary
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Read Summary