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Quotes by Groucho Marx

Born: 2nd October 1890, Died: 19th August 1977
Groucho Marx was an American comedian, actor, and writer.
Welcome to our collection of witty and humorous quotes by the legendary comedian, Groucho Marx. Get ready to be entertained and captivated by the clever and quick-witted remarks from one of comedy's greatest minds. As you navigate through this page, you'll discover a treasure trove of comedic gold that showcases Groucho's unique style and unparalleled comedic timing. From one-liners to playful observations on life, love, and everything in between, these quotes will have you laughing out loud and appreciating the comedic genius of Groucho Marx. So sit back, relax, and let the hilarity unfold as you delve into this delightful compilation of Groucho's wit and wisdom.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. Read Summary

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. Read Summary

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. Read Summary

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know. Read Summary

I must confess, I was born at a very early age. Read Summary

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know. Read Summary

I intend to live forever, or die trying. Read Summary

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early. Read Summary

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. Read Summary

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook. Read Summary

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. Read Summary

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again. Read Summary

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it. Read Summary

Before I speak, I have something important to say. Read Summary

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. Read Summary

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. Read Summary

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. Read Summary

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. Read Summary

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. Read Summary

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. Read Summary