I was a very good tennis player in Ottawa, Canada - nationally ranked when I was, like, 13. Then I moved to Los Angeles when I was 15, and everyone in L.A. just killed me. I was pretty great in Canada. Not so much in Los Angeles. Read Summary
A lot of people think that addiction is a choice. A lot of people think it's a matter of will. That has not been my experience. I don't find it to have anything to do with strength. Read Summary
The thing that I'm most proud of in my life is that if a stranger came up to me and said, 'I can't stop drinking. I can't stop drinking. Can you help me?' I can say, 'Yes, I can help you.' Read Summary
I would always be the kid that got in trouble in school, that's for sure, for joking around. Read Summary
After I got my first laugh on stage, I was hooked. Read Summary
I need a woman to have a quirky sense of humor. There's a bunch of jokes I use, and if she doesn't get them, she's probably not for me. Read Summary
My sense of style is an old Polo shirt, jeans and, unfortunately for the longest time, white running shoes, which was not attractive. The one thing I've learned about clothes is to ask a girl. Read Summary
Ninety percent of video game AI really is pretty damn bad. I think that's actually why it's so much fun to shoot things. Because the AI is so bad and the characters are so annoying. Read Summary
I got sober because I was worried I was going to die next year. Read Summary
The thing is, if I don't have sobriety, I don't have anything. Read Summary
To me, writing is remembering something funny that happened, or maybe something I said seven years ago. Read Summary
Nine times out of 10, women don't want to fix a problem, they just want to be understood. I'll never get that. Read Summary
I think if you look back at all those great comedies on television in the past, it's all lovable losers that gathered together - 'Taxi' and 'Cheers,' 'Seinfeld' and 'Friends.' Read Summary
When I was, like, 15, I realized there could be a career in making people laugh - like, you could get paid to do it. That was insane to me. Read Summary
I went to a high school that didn't have many people in it. There were, like, 60 people in my senior class. There was a group of cool kids and a group of really dorky kids, and I was probably the coolest of the really dorky kids. Read Summary
As for my personal life, I'd love to start a family of my own. I think I'd make a great dad, and I think shortly I would make a great husband. Read Summary
I can tell if someone is talking to me because I'm on 'Friends' or cause they just think I'm neat. You know I don't think I've ever spent more than five or ten minutes with somebody who was ogling me because they recognized me from the show. Read Summary
I don't need to be reminded that I was on 'Friends.' I remember - some of it, anyway. Read Summary
There was a time when I wasn't working a lot. It ebbs and flows. Mostly I was just living my life and playing 'Fallout 3,' a very fun game. Read Summary
My favorite six words in recovery are: trust God, clean house, and help others. Read Summary