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Quotes by Woody Allen

Born: 1st December 1935
Woody Allen is an American director, writer, actor, and comedian.
Welcome to our curated collection of quotes by the brilliant filmmaker and writer, Woody Allen. This page serves as a tribute to one of the most influential and iconic figures in American cinema. Explore the wit, humor, and profound insights of Woody Allen through a handpicked selection of his most memorable quotes. From thought-provoking observations about life, love, and death to lighthearted quips and clever one-liners, these quotes encapsulate the distinctive style and intellect that Allen is renowned for. Whether you are a dedicated fan or simply seeking inspiration and entertainment, this page offers a glimpse into the mind and imagination of a true creative genius. Join us on this journey through Woody Allen's words and discover why his unique perspective continues to captivate audiences around the world.

Eighty percent of success is showing up. Read Summary

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small. Read Summary

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. Read Summary

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. Read Summary

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. Read Summary

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there. Read Summary

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. Read Summary

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. Read Summary

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. Read Summary

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Read Summary

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Read Summary

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. Read Summary

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. Read Summary

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. Read Summary

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead. Read Summary

Marriage is the death of hope. Read Summary

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. Read Summary

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. Read Summary

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. Read Summary

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. Read Summary