I guess I've got a smart wife. Read Summary
The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase. Read Summary
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. Read Summary
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. Read Summary
Pair up in threes. Read Summary
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. Read Summary
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. Read Summary
I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself? Read Summary
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. Read Summary
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Read Summary
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Read Summary
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. Read Summary
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. Read Summary
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. Read Summary
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens. Read Summary
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. Read Summary
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. Read Summary
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian. Read Summary
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. Read Summary
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? Read Summary