I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum. Read Summary
My DVD cellophane was put on by a psychiatrist. It was shrink-wrapped. Read Summary
It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes. Read Summary
They're just jokes, people. They can't all be funny. Read Summary
If you'd asked me then if I saw how big 'The Steve Harvey Morning Show' was going to be, I couldn't tell you. But I knew I could reach people not as a character but as Steve Harvey, because although I tell jokes for a living, I've also lived, and I think I can relate to you more than you know. Read Summary
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction. Read Summary
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. Read Summary
In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America. Read Summary
There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up - or didn't - and Jamaican stories. Read Summary
My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world. Read Summary
I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones. Read Summary
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. Read Summary
I need a woman to have a quirky sense of humor. There's a bunch of jokes I use, and if she doesn't get them, she's probably not for me. Read Summary
I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn't know what to do with me. Read Summary