Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. Read Summary
Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome. Read Summary
I don't care about being on television. Read Summary
When you're young, you look at television and think, there's a conspiracy. The networks have conspired to dumb us down. But when you get a little older, you realize that's not true. The networks are in business to give people exactly what they want. Read Summary
What is a television apparatus to man, who has only to shut his eyes to see the most inaccessible regions of the seen and the never seen, who has only to imagine in order to pierce through walls and cause all the planetary Baghdads of his dreams to rise from the dust. Read Summary
I think I've got the best staff in television. Read Summary
I don't listen to music. I don't watch television, I don't read. Read Summary
I think if you look back at all those great comedies on television in the past, it's all lovable losers that gathered together - 'Taxi' and 'Cheers,' 'Seinfeld' and 'Friends.' Read Summary
I've been on a show before where I was on a billboard and then, after like three or four weeks, they took the billboard down and replaced it with nothing. Took my face down and put a white board up. Read Summary
Thanks to television, for the first time the young are seeing history made before it is censored by their elders. Read Summary
Unlike productions in the other arts, all television shows are born to destroy two other shows. Read Summary
In day-to-day commerce, television is not so much interested in the business of communications as in the business of delivering audiences to advertisers. People are the merchandise, not the shows. The shows are merely the bait. Read Summary
The narrow bandwidth of TV has made us think that we are stupider than we are. Read Summary
I'm very shy really. I spend a lot of time in my room alone reading or writing or watching television. Read Summary
I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig. Read Summary
I hate to mention age, but I come from an era when we weren't consumed by technology and television. Read Summary
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. Read Summary
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. Read Summary
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30. Read Summary
I am a chef who happens to appear on the telly, that's it. Read Summary